Confused Puchiguso's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]

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[10 Jan 2017|10:25am]
Still around!
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[09 Apr 2014|10:05am]
Okay, I'm making an effort to update this thing. I just admitted to a friend that I don't have the energy to keep up with my journal anymore, but the thing is, I really want to. I really overexerted myself the last few months preparing for Aseliacon. It was worth it, though. I just don't know how to balance my time and all the stress.

The con was amazing. I want to post a report on it at some point. I took a lot of video and have uploaded half of it, then I got sidetracked just being lazy at home and watching old episodes of Hell's Kitchen and playing games. But I haven't even finished those. I started Tales of Xillia and Tales of Symphonia, but the only thing I've been able to wrap my head around lately is the stories I've been writing with my roommate. I know that's boring to everyone else. I wish my brain didn't get stuck in a one-track rut, because I'd like to be able to do lots of other things at the same time, too. I have another amazing RP I'm in and it's like my brain just won't compute and give me the energy to focus on it. I feel like crap for that.

I started working on the boots for [personal profile] insidious's Raven costume. (She's going to be Raven and I'm going to be Karol for A-kon) But my fingers still have not forgiven me for making Alvin's boots. They are cracked and peeling. Hand sewing is a bitch. I need sewing gloves like hardcore. u_u And then I got sick and haven't felt like doing much of anything ON TOP of not feeling like doing anything. -_-

I swear to god I'm going to accomplish something tonight. I took the boots to work and I can't even force the needle through the leather. I guess I'll attempt to awkwardly force them through the sewing machine tonight if that works... Failing that, no matter how uncomfortable I feel, I need to get started on sewing Raven's shirt. I want it done by this weekend.

Nevermind that I have flower accesories to sew for my shop... @_@
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[26 Feb 2014|04:05pm]
I need to figure out how to get the crossposting thing working again here.
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[05 Feb 2014|03:49pm]
Posting this to do list here so I have some place to keep up with it... Even if I don't get it all done, I want to get at least half tonight. ~_~

Make dinner
Stitch down ribbon on Leia collar

Take out all the trash in the garage
Pick up all the trash bags upstairs
Clean off my desk
Clean the floor around my desk
Move one of the sewing machines upstairs
Take pics of the manga for sale and post online
Make Alvin boot cuff pattern
Finish Lloyd jacket pattern
Start Alvin vest pattern
Start Leia boot cuff pattern
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[30 Oct 2013|08:02am]
Oh and I forgot the best news of all!!!


Granted, they're a bit tight, and I still don't look great in them, but they zip!!!
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[30 Oct 2013|07:32am]
I wish I could wean myself off of facebook. Sometimes my friends' feeds get so toxic I absorb that negativity and it ruins my day. Whenever I come to post here too, I feel like I don't have much to say. It's probably messed up my ability to write a normal blog.

Let's see. Right now school has me super busy, but I really wanted to do something for Halloween. I've been invited to a couple of things, but no one can pick me up. I don't blame them, it just drives home the reminder that I need to learn to drive. But I found out my dad is having a party so there's that. It'll be a bunch of his friends, probably, but I found the unfinished Suzaku Halloween outfit from Code Geass, when they all dress up as cats. I can get that done after class tonight even though I'll be exhausted. The band class got moved to tonight instead of yesterday, and it's immediately after math. I packed a soda. ~_~

Oh and last night I spent watching Twelve Kingdoms! We made it to the end of the first case of DVDs! I can't believe that is 5 discs. There's still the second case, and I'm already so confused! But I love it. Youko's journey of character growth is amazing, and Taiki is really growing on me. If only I had the mental fortitude to read a book all the way through. I have gotten halfway through the first novel twice now. Reading is hard for me to stick with and I hate that. -_-

I hope it doesn't rain tonight...
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Anime meme... [17 Oct 2013|12:50pm]
I don't find this list complete by any means, but I found it while searching for icons from Wedding Peach, and since that was a fruitless search, I might as well answer it...

Read more... )

Despite not checking some of those, I've read some manga. Like I have read some of FAKE and it's alright. I went ahead and checked Chrono Crusade even though I didn't finish it. I have all the manga though. I'm annoyed that Nurse Angel Ririka SOS wasn't on that list. :(
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[04 Oct 2013|03:43pm]
I've been a little stressed lately, but hopefully that's calming down. Enough for me to post at least.

I started watching old episodes of The Voice on youtube with [personal profile] insidious. We also saw the pilot of SHIELD last week, but I haven't seen the latest episode because Monday through Wednesday is always so busy. Ugh. We might see it tonight, maybe if there's time after my workout.

I have lost 3 pounds as of the start of the week, which is great.

I tried getting my head together enough to post in some memes, but the thing I never can come up with is how to reply to such random prompts. It works so much better if I have the stability of a game setting, but it makes me sad because I don't have time for something like that outside of museboxes. And those are at a standstill right now anyway.

Sometimes I regret starting school this semester. But then I remember my family is very proud of me and I almost have math out of the way. And that if I stick with Band until next semester, I can play at the Carnival of Steel. I really want to do that.

I probably won't join again after that though, because the teacher is too stressful and I enjoy my free time. I miss when I had more time. I don't know HOW I had more time in my 20's considering how much I did, but it feels like I did. Oh well, lol.
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I apologize for vanishing x.x [24 Sep 2013|02:35pm]
I have had a really stressful couple of months. I realize I vanished right after a vacation and feel like that was kinda rude to my friends, especially when I said I'd post about the trip. I'm sorry you guys. :(

And [personal profile] killua, I wasn't able to get you an autograph. The lines were horrible, we nearly got crushed getting through the crowd, and I couldn't find a friend who didn't have something to do already to go through it with us because we were only allowed one. (But if you haven't sold your Kaito figure, I still want to buy it from you? T___T)

I'm struggling through my math class and it's draining me of energy. I'm also starting a fitness program with a friend who's taking kinesiology classes and has to be somebody's instructor for a semester. It pretty much means that my free days, which are Fri-Sun, are work-out days, and Mon-Wed are school (band and math) days. So very little time to do much else, when I'm not doing homework. I hope I can at least get some time in to write, but I always feel drained and end up watching mindless TV instead. That's why I'm fat lol.

I have taken up a game again finally though. Not RP, but on my DS. I lent my 3DS to [personal profile] insidious to play the new Fire Emblem, so I picked up my old one (GBA) and started playing it again. And I got Monster Rancher for $10 at Gamestop.

That's about it though. I've had at least 2 doctors appointments a week for the past two months, which has left me pretty broke. -_- I'm resentful that I have to go to so many of them. Psychologists, psychiatrists, podiatrist, dentist, therapist. It's draining.

I'm back, though.


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Leaving for Otakon tomorrow! :D [07 Aug 2013|12:24pm]
Tomorrow I leave for Otakon! My flight is at 9:50 in the morning, and I gotta get everything ready tonight. Excited and nervous and kinda antsy about being on my meds for the whole trip, but oh well!

So far, I've packed:

Komui Lee
Hitomi Kanzaki (sans her pendant and watch, need to remember those!)
and my shoes for Tomoe Tachibana

Yeah, I still haven't finished that costume. It's in pieces about to be assembled, so hopefully I can just finish that tonight and not get side tracked. I haven't felt that well lately. My meds make me dizzy and sometimes my heart gets fluttery. But on the bright side playing Hitomi in the LARP means if I gotta sit down and have a breather, I can just play it off as a vision or something. XD I promise I'll take care of myself.

I'll try to take some pics! My camera wasn't cooperating at A-kon but I'll try to get it to work before I go, or bug someone else to get some!
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Trails in the Sky sketches and lunch [29 Jul 2013|12:15pm]
I doodled a lot this morning )

And now it's lunch and I have the hiccups. -_-

Today's lunch is leftovers, but I made the salad. )

I'll write a whole entry about the weekend later, but I'm starving.
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[16 Jul 2013|12:28pm]
Ugh. So our front door lock broke and the key is stuck in it, so I just had to call a locksmith. There goes more of my money. -_- Got to try to find a way to earn that from something. I can't afford this right now, after all the furniture I bought and a trip coming up.

At least it's lunch. )
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[16 Jul 2013|08:15am]
I didn't put raspberries in my oatmeal this morning because I ran out. Ugh. I had to chug water with every bite just to get it down.

I played some more Suikoden last night. I got all the way to Kouan. Leveled everyone up to 20 or higher, and had to quit because the FAQ said if I went back to Toran Castle then I'd have a lot of plot happen. I really didn't want to go to bed, but it was already 10:30 and I hadn't even cleaned my room any.

Oh well. I did cook dinner, and the extra chicken for the rest of the week for my lunches, and the walk back from Target was kinda tiring. I won't have much energy for a week anyway, so I guess I should plan around that.

This morning I FINALLY found a way to put Guilty Dragon on my cell phone! It's a Japanese only game for .hack//, but you can install it if you turn off permissions and get it from the internet instead of Google's store. I will start playing it after I get one of my other games done.

So yesterday I tried to find something to listen to when I walk home, and I went back to an old favorite site:

It's hit or miss, but that's because it's a hub of amateur voice acting, and it makes me so giddy to listen to people's stories and voices there. Some of the best ones are audio dramas, either the ones written for production, or converted from fanfic. Back in the day I used to try my hand at both voicing and mixing, but I wasn't very good at either.

However, I REALLY recommend Forward Momentum Production's Bubble Gum Crisis Audio Drama. You can listen to it here:

It's based on the 2040 series, but even then I like it. My biggest hangup with that one was the art style. Listening to this one is like getting your hands on one of those old Drama CDs from Japan back when EVERY show had one. They have two episodes out so far, and I've only heard half of the first one. It's told from various character's perspective and narration, with any other voices speaking up as needed (if it's their dialogue). It works really well.

I think I'm gonna go finish listening to it, even if that means finding something else to listen to later tonight.
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Back to school! [15 Jul 2013|03:43pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Majutsushi Orphen Revenge - Sondemotte Kiss ]

I am so excited. I enrolled today for Steel Band again at Richland. And while I had said I didn't want to take another math class, I figured 'what the hell?'. My teacher had a point when she said 'use it or lose it', and I don't want to forget what I had learned by the time I get around to feeling like taking Algebra. So, I'm going to take it this fall. And if I can manage Algebra AND music, then maybe next semester I'll take something else on top of that. It just depends how I feel, but I really want to keep my brain active.

It scares me to think that bipolar and alzheimers have the same areas of the brain affected, and I may just be being a worry wart, but I feel like being in school keeps things in my head ticking the way they should be. I'll stay in school forever if I keep getting the highs of accomplishment that I got last semester.

On top of that, I like my therapist, and I found a psychiatrist that will see me. I feel so... responsible. I hope that this optimism lasts.

Last weekend [personal profile] insidious and I saw Pacific Rim, and it was AWESOME! And then the next day we went to the Dollar Theater and saw Olympus Has Fallen. That was also good, and I love the actors in it. I felt like I was watching some alternate universe of Batman, though, because Harvey Dent and Lucius Fox. XD

Then Sunday [personal profile] rubyredrose, [personal profile] ot_atma, and Gypsy got me and we went to Ikea. Well first I went to a breakfast buffet with [personal profile] insidious, and so I planned to have a healthier lunch at Ikea. We went to Blue Mesa instead, which was another buffet, and so my diet was blown but it was so delicious. ;_; I also got a pretty tasty drink, but the blueberry made it kind of bitter. After that we got my shelf and some tupperware, and after an ordeal getting inside and assembled, I have a bookshelf. It was exhausting, but tonight I plan to use that clear space to organize my room more. Without them, I wouldn't be able to get as far as I have.

Tonight I'm gonna stop and get groceries on the way home. Well, rice at least. I have a delivery of local farm vegetables showing up tomorrow, so I don't need much else. Then I'll cook and get to organizing, and then play some Suikoden again. It's almost time to take away all of Gremio's things. T___T That game is so sad, but what I do to the characters may be worse.

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[10 Jul 2013|11:00am]
Last night I came home and [personal profile] insidious had bought a kitten. We had talked about it and just the day before told her I was totally cool with it if she found one sooner rather than later and brought it home. It wasn't a boy like we wanted, but not because she picked a girl. The animal shelter had her labeled as a boy and the vet discovered that was not true! I didn't mind though, she's very sweet. I am really really happy because despite not really being a cat person, they have grown on me, and more than that, seeing how happy it makes [personal profile] insidious really makes me happy. I even cleaned my bathroom because she was gonna put it in her room, but it's all storage right now and not safe for the kitten.

The reason we have it separate is to keep the cats from fighting until they get used to each other's smells. I pitched in and got her some stuff to climb on and scratch. My bathroom is now kitten-proof and since she is already litter trained, she's very well behaved so far! I think that playing with her constantly and keeping her occupied and worn out is what's helping her stay calm. When she meows, it's almost always silent, and it's so cute!

Since one cat is already named Gambit, [personal profile] insidious named the girl Rogue. We are now a house full of X-men.

I cleaned out behind the couch too. There's a lot to still be organized, but I have shelves coming in from Walmart probably sometime between tomorrow and Monday. All my art supplies will go on them, so that will mean we can put cat furniture behind the couch so they have a safe place to hide. It's too hard for us to get to anyway most of the time, so it's not good for storage.

And to top it all off, I finally found my glasses behind the couch! :)
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*cracks knuckles* [08 Jul 2013|09:15am]
[ music | Gundam Seed Destiny - Reason ]

So my sewing machine came in on Friday after I sat at the office all day waiting for it. What an annoying situation I put myself in. I paid for expedited shipping, but it wasn't shipped until Tuesday, so it got caught in the 4th of July mail backup. But I did get it, and it's a beautiful sewing machine. My wallet is hurting because of it, but I have a very nice machine that won't crap out on me in the future which is a good investment.

Now I can't eat out AT ALL for a month until Otakon. I'll be good. @___@

[personal profile] insidious and I went to the baseball game on Sunday. It was the one game the Rangers won, so we lucked out! It was really hot though, and I wish I had remembered sun screen. In any case, I'm glad we went. I had a ton of fun and I hope she did too.

I've been in this slump of not wanting to do anything all week. I know it's depression or something, but I started taking my vitamins every day for a week now and at the very least, with the exception of an argument on Saturday I feel like at least my temperament has become better. Now if I could just get myself doing things again.

Since I finished all the episodes of everything I've been watching on Netflix, I turned to the internet for help because I know they won't put everything up on that service. Which is kind of defeating the purpose of paying for episodes on demand, isn't it? I found a bunch of stuff though, such as My Cat From Hell, Ghost Hunters, Hoarders, and Pawn Stars. I actually like reality TV if I feel that it is educational. I can't stand the stuff that's just people bickering and being stupid.

Every. Single. Time. that I watch hoarders, I get this mad drive to clean my house. I didn't really do much this weekend, but I did put my sewing away before I went to bed Suday. I know leaving it out drives [personal profile] insidious up the wall. I think a lot of my stuff is driving her up the wall, so I got a bunch of plastic organizers thanks to my dad helping, and they should ship to my house this week. I can't just hold out and try to get nicer looking shelves. It's not going to get things organized any faster. My fabric needs a place to go that isn't piled in boxes that I dig through whenever I need something and just make new messes. They don't stack at all, either, so it takes up too much space. My notions and threads can stay in the box but that can go on the big storage shelf too. And all the random crap on my desk can either get put in the plastic drawers or sorted out to be donated or trashed.

I am so sick of moving things around in circles looking for a place for them to go. I can't imagine how someone else feels.

And I'm really excited for next weekend when [personal profile] rubyredrose and Gypsy come over and we hit Ikea for a bookshelf. Just... if I can get my room spotless, then maybe, just maybe, if I can keep it clean for a few months to prove to myself that I can be organized, I'll get a dog again and it will be safe in my room for it and the cat.

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[02 Jul 2013|08:44am]
So I got a hormone test yesterday, now to just wait for the results. Completely forgot to ask about my arm or my sleep apnea, though. I felt rushed. After these test results come in I am definitely looking into getting a new doctor. Still typing with one hand to let my arm rest.

I watched more Merlin yesterday. At first I thought it was too campy, but it really grew on me. I find even the king an interesting and complicated character. Then [personal profile] insidious and I watched 5 eps of season 8 of Superatural. I'm almost caught up. That show has put me through a rollercoaster of emotions, and not all of them good. But I guess half of that is my mood issues, because as time passes I keep ending up looking back and appreciating the story. I think I am a bit too emotional over decisions the characters make.

I really liked Season 7, though. Even if it pissed me off at one point. X)

Now I just hope that my sewing stuff arrives at work in time. I paid extra to have the sewing machine expedited, and it SHOULD be here tomorrow. So if I'm lucky then I can spend my 4 day weekend working on cosplay. I started my hakama for Tomoe Tachibana from Trauma Team. Then the machine died, and my backup machine shortly after. One is waiting on a part, but I figured I had a better chance of finishing it on time if I just bought a new one. I have such bad luck with them that I keep a few around for emergencies. u_u

I need to play that game. I'm cosplaying from it for [personal profile] insidious, but she writes CRS-01 and I like him, so it will probably be fun.
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[22 Jun 2013|05:06pm]
So much of this day went by before I knew it. DX I woke up late, almost at lunch, but then [personal profile] insidious and I went to Ihop for breakfast/lunch. Then she was nice enough to drive me by Joannes, so I got fabric to line Miaka, which I still haven't started on yet. Maybe I will crack down tonight and sew.

I've been distracted playing Tales of Phantasia instead. I've made it to getting Sylph, and managed to do some of the side-quests earlier than I knew was possible (like hooking up Elwin and Nancy by walking all the way across the map just to get it done lol).

I FINALLY have started drawing again, too. Most of it's up on my deviantart (, but I haven't finished the picture I drew of Chester's little sister yet. I got some really nice manga pens to ink with and maybe, just maybe, I'm over this two-year art slump. I really hope so...
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[21 Jun 2013|05:06pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Man, I am having one of those days where out of the blue old memories come back and it is really painful. I wish old friendships never fell apart. We had the best of times but I can't even look back on them with rose colored glasses after everything. T_T it just makes me super sad.

[11 Jun 2013|11:39am]
I am finally getting the hang of this keyboard.

So Otakon held a contest for which guest they were going to announce as the opening act for Yoko Kanno. They gave a bunch of clues and [personal profile] selphish and I narrowed it down to two artists. I ended up guessing right! Holy crap. There's still a drawing to see who gets line access, but I just am really excited that we figured it out! I'm not always good at that sort of thing, but teamwork paid off. :)

I'm gonna ramble about things excitedly right now because I am trying furiously to keep myself out of a funk. RL has been alright, but took a really stressful turn last night. I'm sorry if I seem off. Just let me work my way through it.

I never really have watched E3 before, but it's been a nice distraction because of that. And can I say how thrilled I am that the PS4 kicked Microsoft's ass. I always buy things behind the times because I am broke, but this year I'm actually going to get a PS4 of my own because I want to contribute to the company doing well and listening to fans. Maybe this time I'll actually play something when it's relevant, too.

Or well, I can tell myself that at any rate.

I fell out of writing Lina for a week after A-kon. Stress? Burnout? Actually I could barely write anyone, even in my sandboxes. I'm doing better today. I wrote a little last night, too. If I can keep this up, maybe I can learn to be more focused. I didn't really complete my to-do list yesterday but that was because unexpected things happened. I DID go for my walk, and I feel really accomplished for that.

Things have to get better. :)
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